My boyfriend would probably call me an exhibitionist as he’s always telling me to stop walking around naked in daylight with the blinds half open.
“What if somebody sees?” he says.
“So what if they do?” I say.
Before we met, I’d had sex in school staircases, dark alleyways and my personal favorite, an abandoned train stop, to name a few.
Before we lived together, I had sheer, lilac-colored curtains on my bedroom windows, which inconveniently looked right into someone's kitchen in the building next door. My boyfriend would refuse to have sex with me until he found a towel or blanket to hang up in the window and it wasn’t long before I caved and bought curtains so dark you didn’t know the difference between 10 AM and 10 PM. Even in the home we share together now—sans roommates and next door neighbors—he shuts all windows and sometimes even our bedroom door before we get down.
I’m not convinced it’s all just habit.
Over the years, I’ve realized my man is just a very private person. He’s always saying I over share, gets upset when I reveal details of our personal life to friends (if he knew I was writing this, I’d be in big trouble), and is the kind of guy that doesn't use direct deposit or mobile banking to ensure that nobody gets their dirty, thieving paws on his information. I, on the other hand, have used the same password for everything since 1996.
Ironically, the first time we had sex, we were in the backseat of his car in the parking lot at his boss's wedding. I’m pretty sure I was the initiator. We’ve had public sex six other times that I can recall: three more weddings, one more backseat, a storage shed, and atop a lifeguard stand. Only once was he not under the influence of alcohol, which I guess helps coax out his exhibitionist side.
But he’s not always so shy. Like a true country boy, he tends to prefer the great outdoors to a toilet (I guess a luxury of being a guy).
“What if someone sees?” I say.
“So what if they do?” he says.
If he is using an actual bathroom, he rarely closes the door and has no problem barging in on me to use it while I’m in the shower. Now, I may not leave much to the imagination, but I do try to maintain some mystery, keeping the door closed and insisting to him that I simply don’t poop.
I guess we each have our own version of exhibitionism. When it comes to sex and relationships in general, most couples are going to have different boundaries and comforts, or lack there of. What’s important, is to try to remain open to each other’s—at least every once in a while.
One time, we were stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic and I had to pee so bad it hurt. Lacking another option, I climbed into the back seat, grabbed an empty water bottle and relieved myself. He said it made him love me more.
Jessica May is a freelance writer happily living in sin with her boyfriend and vibrator like "Three's Company."
photo credit: Kelly Hau via Creative Commons