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Cravings

May 26, 2016

"M" Month Women We Love: Emily Morse

by Crave in Crave, Interviews, Women We Love


We are delighted to complete our International Masturbation Month celebration in discussion with Emily Morse, the popular sexologist and host of the Sex With Emily podcast.

Who inspires you and why?

In my personal life, my mom has been a huge inspiration to me. I’m grateful for the hard work ethic my parents instilled in me, even though getting a job after school was the last thing I wanted as a 14 year old. Working consistently, however, taught me the power of dependability, humility and determination.

I’m also inspired by people who don’t accept their status quo sexual experiences—who are willing to be vulnerable and commit to learn more about their sexual desires and, more importantly, learn how to communicate those needs to a partner.

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May 19, 2016

"M" Month Women We Love: Hayley MacMillen

by Crave in Crave, Interviews, Women We Love


We are delighted to continue our International Masturbation Month celebration with Hayley MacMillen, who introduces herself here:

As Refinery29's Sex & Relationships Editor, I write a weekly sex column, The Bed Post, which explores what holds us back from the sex and love lives we want to lead, especially shame and stigma; edit essays from talented freelancers; appear on Refinery29's Facebook Live talk show Sexcess!; and cover all things sexuality, gender, and relationships. My job also involves lots of sex-toy testing, which is one of my favorite perks. In my past life, I did communications for health nonprofits in East Africa, and the belief that guided me then guides me now: Health is a human right, and fully realized sexuality is a central part of it.

Who inspires you and why?

Right now, I'm inspired by Samantha Bee and her show Full Frontal. She doesn't hesitate to lampoon ineptitude or ignorance wherever it appears, even if it's on the part of someone who shares her liberalism. "Speaking truth to power" is a cliché by now, but that's what she's doing. And I am loving Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow's discussions of menstruation politics (and everything else) on their podcast Call Your Girlfriend. Their conversations are nuanced, frank, and not just shame-free but proud. None of these women are apologizing for centering "women's issues"; they're challenging why we section off issues relevant to women with this label in the first place.

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May 12, 2016

"M" Month Women We Love: Shannon Boodram

by Crave in Crave, Interviews, Women We Love


We are delighted to continue our International Masturbation Month celebration with Shannon Boodram, author, tv host, and sexologist. Stay tuned for more interviews with women we love throughout the month.

Who inspires you and why?

In life, my family. They are perfect people. Who really gets to say that? In career: Esther Perel and Dan Savage. I literally have never heard one single thing from these people I do not agree with. And I love their delivery. Ya know there's a Google talk with Esther and Dan - clearly I exploded after watching it so now I am typing to you in tiny parts.

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May 7, 2016

"M" Month Women We Love: Cindy Gallop

by Crave in Crave, Interviews, Women We Love


We are delighted to kick off our International Masturbation Month celebration with Cindy Gallop, founder of MakeLoveNotPorn. Stay tuned for more interviews with women we love throughout the month.


Who inspires you and why?

People inspire me. People are just wonderful. I meet so many incredible people making their way in the world in really interesting ways, and read about so many more.

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December 11, 2014

An Interview with Dandy Dillinger

by Dakota in Culture, Interviews


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Dandy Dillinger is a burlesque performer and pastry chef living in New York. She creates gorgeous confections at renowned burlesque venue Duane Park by day, and kittens on its stage by night.

What came first, pastry or burlesque?

Pastry definitely came first. I went to pastry school in 2007, and graduated in 2008. I had always gone to burlesque shows, and I always called myself a burlesque groupie. My old restaurant was one block up from the original Duane Park. So every Friday I’d go to Duane Park for years. And then I used to tell (Duane Park owners) Billy and Marisa, “I’m going to do this; I’m going to dance.” And then years and years went by and I never did it. And then finally one day after a breakup, and work was shitty, I was like, “I’m just going to take classes, because if I don’t do it now, I’m never going to do it.”

Are there commonalities between cuisine and burlesque?

Both can be equally sensual. With both, you’re teasing and tempting, whether with smells, flavors, or memories. Describing food, people can get just as aroused or into what you’re talking about as with burlesque, because it’s just like a tease.

What food gets you in the mood?

Definitely my chocolate cake is probably one of the best things I’ve ever eaten. It’s almost like a fudge flourless cake, but it’s not overly rich. It’s creamy and light and the buttercream is really good. It’s sour cream-based chocolate cake and I do a cross between a traditional Swiss meringue and a sugar buttercream frosting. If food is good enough, it could get anyone in the mood.

Any other favorite desserts?

I love ice cream, all kinds. The other day I had this mint chip affogato with espresso and a shot of fernet. I was drinking out of the bowl. Fernet Branca is a digestif that tastes almost like a Ricola, it has a mint licorice-y flavor to it and pairs well with chocolate and mint. With the espresso it really heightened the flavor. With the affogato, the alcohol was poured right into it.

Creativity, experimentation and openness are things you have to have in burlesque, cooking, and sex alike to keep things fresh.

Me doing things I’m not supposed to do is what turns me on and gets me going. We say “Let’s do it anyway.” Now that my partner and I are in this safe committed relationship, we have to find a balance of how to keep it forbidden.

Can culinary experiences open up sensuality in other realms?

Especially with desserts, a lot of people offer dessert tastings. Have a cocktail or a nice glass of wine and have the chef choose so that you can experiment with your palate. I always like to live by “You never know unless you try.”

There’s a lot of romance and seduction in food. Does food belong in the bedroom?

I don’t think I would only because I appreciate both so much. We can have our dessert, then our sex.

What do you think of the women’s sex positive community?

It was always forbidden and taboo for women to even talk about sex. Now that it’s more liberated and open, it’s only good. Masters of Sex shows a time when it was hard for women to be open. With burlesque, we’re taking control of sex and have control over exactly what the audience sees and feels.  We reveal little by little, so we choose. In this community, it’s all shapes, sizes, colors – anyone can be sexy. Again, we’re the ones who are telling you, and showing you, what is sexy and can be sexy.

It’s that confidence too. You could have that girl up there with the perfect body who goes up there and has nothing to show. Your body is the instrument, so when you’re moving to music, you have to show that emotion and feeling and rhythm through your body.

Should everyone, including people who don’t want to perform, take burlesque classes?

The average woman should definitely take classes because it’s great to feel great about your own body. Just do it. A lot of friends of friends come up to me and say, “I want to do burlesque.” Just do it – what’s holding you back?

Dakota Kim is a freelance writer and burlesque lover living in New York.

Photo credit: dollen, via Creative Commons

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September 25, 2014

Interview with Calamity Chang

by Dakota in Culture, Fresh Voices, Interviews


Calamity Chang is a legendary burlesque performer in New York, known for her sensual performances with luxurious feathered fans and sparkling lingerie. I sat down with "The Asian Sexsation" to find out what turns her on offstage.

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June 12, 2014

#YesAllWomen Means ALL Women: An Interview with a Sex Worker

by R. O'Shea in First-Person, Sex, Interviews


Cravings: Tell me about your history in the sex industry.
B: My start was gradual because as soon as I turned 18 I wanted to pose naked for somebody and be in Playboy, stuff like that. I was 19 or 20 when I posed for some random dudes on the internet and by the time I was 21 I started stripping. I was a stripper for a little bit, and when I was 22 I tried escorting. I went back to it over the years, for last time when I was 29. 

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